Ever wondered why your teenager is acting out, or why they seem to be drifting further from their authentic selves in a bid to fit in? Do you sometimes wish you could help them navigate these critical years without losing their individuality?
I understand this struggle first-hand, and it’s a real worry for a lot of parents.
When teens or tweens are not true to themselves, they will often feel lost or confused. This often shows up as a bad attitude, anger, and disconnection, and it makes it really hard for parents to help them.
In this episode, I’ll also reveal a new system I've designed specifically for parents and teenagers called 'Confidently Connected'. This super easy 3-step system helps teens and tweens discover who they are and understand what's truly important to them, so they can become confident, happy, and self-assured young adults; while supporting parents along the way.
TEA HAPPENINGS:
1) Free Webinar --- How parents of teens and tweens can better connect without all the arguments, attitude, disrespect or guilt)
2) The Confidently Connected [Teen/Tween] System is a super easy 3-step system for teens, tweens, and parents.
It's designed to give today's youth tools to help them discover who they are so they don't spend years suffering from low self-esteem, a lack of confidence or motivation, unhealthy relationships (with themselves and others), and generally6 feeling lost, stuck, unhappy, or out of control.
The Confidently Connected [Parent] System gives parents of teens and tweens tools to support and better understand what their kids might be going through, as well as help them strengthen or create strong, healthy relationships (with their kids, themselves, and others).
Because the system is hybrid, that means the teen/tween can work at their own pace and in their own time, as the content is fully digital.
Additionally, there are weekly call opportunities to connect for both the teens/tweens, and, separately, for the parents.
This might just be the easiest system you will come across to get teens and tweens the information they need (which is generally NOT taught in schools) to improve their self-worth, their confidence, and their overall mindset so they can become happy, successful young adults, which all parents want for their kids.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Empowered Parent Podcast with Renee. Being a teenager is hard. Being a parent of a teenager can be even harder. Each episode we deliver tips, tools, tricks and stories to help you feel empowered, confident and energized as the parent of a teenager. Teenagers want to be happy. Sometimes they just need a little help along the way. Now here's your host, renee Sinning. Renee is a Certified Life Leadership and Success Coach for teenagers and their parents. She's also a mom of three young adults and an experienced high school educator of 18 years. Renee is well-versed in everything teen. Now, without any further ado, here's Renee.
Speaker 2:
Hi parents, it is Renee. Welcome to another episode of the Empowered Parent Podcast. On today's episode, I would like to talk about a topic that I feel really strongly about, and that is nurturing authenticity in your kiddos. Raising teens and tweens is a journey. It's a complex journey. There's a lot of missing puzzle pieces, a lot of unknowns, for both the parent and the teen or the tween. There's a series of never-ending ups and downs, sometimes daily, and every type of emotion is hit, everything from confusion, angst, stress, sadness, anger, fear, to joy and excitement and pride. So we're all over the place. Our kids are all over the place, do you agree? And so today I wanted to address a concern that often weighs heavily on the minds of a lot of parents, and that is the fear of our teens and tweens losing their authentic selves in the midst of trying to fit in and find their place in the world. It's a real fear. It actually happens quite a bit, and there's some things that the parents can do to help try to have this not happen. But some of that is out of our hands, especially during the teen and the tween years, while kids are trying to figure out who they are and how they fit in and where they fit in, what they like and what they don't like, that some of them especially those that don't have a lot of self-worth or self-confidence they don't really believe in themselves. It's really easy for those kiddos to fall into the traps of losing who they are and forgetting what's important to them or not even really knowing what's important to them. And because these years are a time of change, both physically and emotionally, it's not uncommon for parents to worry about their kids getting lost due to all of these external pressures and societal expectations, and they get really intense during this stage in life. However, it's really important to also remember that these years are also a time of self-discovery and growth. So that's the good news and I'm going to do a little bit of a shameless plug here, but it's actually really important.
Speaker 2:
We have a brand new program. It is hybrid, coming up and it's three steps. It's called confidently connected. It's for parents, teens and tweens, and step one of the teen portion of the program of their three steps is discovering who I am, because it's this who piece that's so vital to them knowing who they are and figuring out where they fit in and making choices that to feel good to them. That is often not addressed in other programs for today's youth. So a lot of parents feel like I've tried everything, nothing works. Nothing works and I would say nothing has worked yet, because it's possible that some of the other things you've tried didn't address this really vital piece. I think it's the most important piece and that's why it's step one Before you really give kids tools to be confident and to believe in themselves.
Speaker 2:
It's really important that they know who they are, they know what's important to them, what are their strengths, what are their values, because if they don't have this information, then they might make some new friends that maybe aren't making the best choices If they don't know what's really important to them. It's very easy for kids to kind of take on the values of others, even if they don't feel good inside, and so helping kids to really discover who they are is vital in having those good, healthy relationships and friendships, especially during teen years. Knowing their strengths, knowing their beliefs. This is also vital to them being able to stand up for their true, authentic selves. Because if they don't have this information, if they don't know it, if they aren't consciously thinking about it, then a lot of times it gets pushed to the back and they just kind of dive into something that doesn't feel comfortable to them, and then what happens is because they feel icky on the inside or conflicted on the inside, as it comes out as anger or sadness or conflict or drama a lot of the things that parents of teens and tweens see at home. So there's always a reason why kids show up the way they do, and we want to nurture their authenticity and really help. I'm so passionate about helping kids believe in themselves and see their worth, and so, again, that is step one of the confidently connected system.
Speaker 2:
It is hybrid. That means that the kids can get the goods, get the information, in their own time and at their own pace. The teen portion is fully online. It's broken up into tiny snippets, so it's not even like they have to sit there for 30 minutes they don't and it's fillable. There's videos, there's video walkthroughs, there's animated videos Everything to help them in a really easy way that's not time consuming, get them the information that's often not addressed in other programs or taught in the schools. There's also a piece of the program that is that they can hop on the call a weekly call. There's a WhatsApp community just for the kids. There is a community for parents, there is a, there's a program piece for parents parents get their own module and that's actually not what this podcast was supposed to be about. So I kind of went off on a tangent because I'm so passionate about this. And so back to talking about nurturing and the parents concerns over their kids losing themselves, and it just resonates with so many parents and I hear it all the time.
Speaker 2:
And though it's really important to approach a relationship with our kids, approach these things with empathy and understanding your kids might not make it easy for you and I get that. For some kids, adolescents or the adolescent years can be really rocky, turbulent times. It's filled with so many ups and downs and teens are trying to constantly grapple with things like their identity Again, who are they? Who do they want to be? Where do they fit in? They're trying to grapple with peer relationships though equally important is their relationship with you and the family and really most important is their relationship with themselves. And they're trying to grapple with societal expectations what's expected from their peers, what's expected from the teachers, what's expected from their parents, what's expected from society, and all of these micro messages are coming at them 24 seven, and it's really hard and it can leave them feeling really lost or confused.
Speaker 2:
So here are a few things to consider to hopefully make things a little bit smoother at home. First is communication, and that is creating an environment where your teens and tweens feel comfortable expressing themselves openly, and so we want to encourage conversations about their interests and their dreams, their fears. But active listening is key because so many kids feel unheard, and I've had many kids tell me that I can't talk to my parents. Now you could be the most open parent and the most encouraging parent, and it's still possible that your kids won't talk to you just because you're the parent. So try not to take that personally. A lot of that comes down to personality and privacy, and that doesn't mean they don't want to talk. They just might not want to share with their parents and that is normal for many kids Only their individuality.
Speaker 2:
Celebrate and support your child's unique qualities and interests. We never want to compare I'm sure you don't but we never want to compare our kids to their siblings or anyone else, because individuality and celebrating individuality can empower them to stay true to themselves, even if they're quirky and different. That's okay. Celebrate it, celebrate the differences. Celebrate the quirkiness, celebrate. We used to call our youngest daughter a nerd on the DL because she she was. She was into like she's going to get her masters in bugs, so um, but we always celebrated that because that made her her. So celebrate your kids individuality.
Speaker 2:
Number three is expectations, and so, while it's natural to have expectations for your children, it's also important to strike a balance and be sure those expectations are realistic to them. There's a difference between guiding them and imposing unrealistic expectations. So we want to be really careful to get the right balance. We want to allow our kids room, when it's appropriate, of course, to explore their interests and make their own decisions, giving them those choices when appropriate and when you're going to be okay with the answer, because you don't want to let them decide and then say no.
Speaker 2:
Number four actually is relationships. Peer influence during the teen years can be significant, as you probably already know. It can be good or it can be bad, and it's often the most challenging thing for kids to navigate. So teaching your teens the importance of staying true to their values, even in the face of peer pressure, is vital to their self worth and self esteem. A lot of times, kids don't want to hear this from their parents. They'll just say I know, I know. And that's when programs like confidently connected, that are outside of you, but that you can still support them, or helpful because they're getting the information. They can kind of do it on their own time. They don't have to report to anybody, although the calls are encouraged, just not required but they're still getting the information because they just might not be open to, or they act like they're not open to, hearing that from you.
Speaker 2:
And then the last one, which I've talked about many times as modeling. Children learn by example. Your teens learn by example. They're always watching, they're always listening. So when you demonstrate authenticity in your own life, being true to yourself, you're teaching them to value authenticity in their life. So sharing your own experiences, including your challenges and your triumphs, illustrating the importance of staying true to yourself, models for them what that looks like. They might not be doing it yet, but they're still. They're always watching, they're always learning.
Speaker 2:
So remember, it's normal for teens to go through these phases of self discovery. Their journey might include them trying different identities before they find what truly resonates with them. And that's all okay, it's all okay, it's all normal. But it's also really important for positive mental health health and for kids to recognize that who they are on the inside, regardless of the entire outside world, which again is why step one of the company confidently connected system is discovering who I am, because it's just that important.
Speaker 2:
So, parents, I hope this was helpful and if you want to learn more, actually in the show notes is a free webinar where you can learn more. And let me know if you ever have any questions, reach out. If your teen especially is in middle school or early high school and they're really struggling to find themselves and you can see them kind of getting lost, it's the perfect time to step in, because it doesn't have to be that way, and the sooner we can like shift the direction of sometimes poor choices or talking bad about themselves or not believing in themselves, it's the better for them, but also the better for everyone. The better for your relationship, the better for everybody at home. It's more calm, more peace and better connection, and that's it. See you next time, parents.
Speaker 1:
Thanks for joining us this week on the empowered parent podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you'll never miss a show While you're at it. If you found value in this show, we'd appreciate a rating on iTunes, or if you'd simply tell a friend about the show, that would help us out too. Be sure to head over to ReneeSendingcom to pick up some parenting freebies. And remember teenagers want to be happy. Sometimes they just need a little bit of help. Sometimes they just need a little help along the way.